The Foo Files: A Christmas Tale Continues...

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a Foofoo was stirring, not even a mouse.
The beer fridge was filled in the kitchen with care
In the hopes that St Nicholas would make more appear.

At Westminster Abbey, the occupants were there
For a wee round of carols and a wee Christmas prayer.
They marvelled at the tombs, and the choir they cheered
Then looked for the Queen, till all disappeared.

Then back at home all snug in their beds
Dreams of Guy, Madge and the Doctor danced in their heads.
They tried to sleep, excited and pale
Till they settled their brains and passed out from the ale.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
They sprang from the bed to see what the matter.
Away to the window they flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

A werewolf! A werewolf! A werewolf they exclaimed,
Then sleepy and frazzled the others explained.
Back to sleep little darlings, it is just a fox
Out here on the Heath, you tend to get lots.

But others, oh others, please just explain,
Why do they sound like babies about to be maimed?
Now little darlings, don’t you be worried
Just pretend they are reindeer, before Christmas is sullied.

Then, in a twinkling, they heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
To sleep back they went, and in the morning arose,
Had their first glass of champers, then presents they chose.

Cherry Ripes, Doctor Who, and calendars did flow
A plaque of the Bucket Fountain, to remind them of home.
Too many to remember, but many more missing
From the friends who forgot them, whose names they were dissing.

Then after a while, eyes twinkled and went merry
Cheeks went like roses, and noses like cherry.
Their droll little mouths drew up like a bow,
They slumped in their chairs, all pissed in a row.

As by some intervention, they suddenly awoke
Ready for action, nobody spoke.
They hustled and rustled, fuelled by beer
Sounds of cooking, was all you could hear.

At last, the feast was prepared before dark
They ate their own weight, then walked through the park.
They were heard to mumble as they walked out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Westminster Abbey